01 April 2007


No-Bake Oatmeal Chocolate Fudge Cookies

A few years ago, I was walking down the street with my good friend Emily, and I said to her, “Emily, I want you to know that our friendship has reached the level in which my love for you is unconditional. So at this point, you can’t f--- it up, no matter what you do.”

Tears gathered in her big, brown eyes, and she said, “Really? That’s the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me.”

A few months later, we were sitting around doing nothing, our favorite activity at the time, and Emily said to me, “Erielle, remember that one time you said my love for you was unconditional? Well, is it really? I mean, what would you do if I killed Nate?” (Nate was my fiancée then. She didn’t have a reason for which she would kill him, she was only pondering the nature of unconditional love.)
I thought about this for a moment, and I said, “Well, I guess I wouldn’t love you anymore.”
We both concluded that perhaps my love for her was not unconditional after all.
After this realization set in, she asked, “So...what if Nate killed me? Would you still love him?”
I thought for another minute. “I’m sorry to say this, Emily, but I think would still love him. I’d be really mad at him, but I unfortunately I would probably still love him. Even if he was in jail and I couldn’t have his babies.”
Emily sighed. “Wow, that’s true love.”
“Yes, I suppose it is,” I agreed.
As the meaning of unconditional love became clear to us though this hypothetical series of wrongdoings, we realized we were hungry from our session of profound thoughts. What could we make to eat?

The answer was obvious: No-Bakies! No-Bakies are oatmeal-chocolate-peanut butter cookies that don’t require baking. They contain wonderful ingredients but lack the permanent chemical bond between them that is created by baking. Just like our friendship, wow!

Was Emily upset that I rescinded my proclamation of a few months earlier? At first, I thought she understood. But today, as I look closer at the No-Bakie recipe that she had written out for me on that fateful day, I realize that she must have been angrier than she let on, having written comments such as:
“Erielle is a big fat slob. Hate her.”
“Tickle her and provoke her.”
“Give blank stares often.”
“Poop on your mom.”

Emily’s No Bake Fudge Cookies of Love
1 stick butter
2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup peanut butter
3 cup quick oats

In a saucepan over medium-high heat, melt butter. Add next four ingredients and heat until the mixture comes to a boil. Boil for one minute, then remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter and oats.
Drop mixture by the spoonful onto a sheet of waxed paper, parchment paper, or aluminum foil. Allow no-bakies to cool until firm, approximately 20 minutes.


robert swayze said...

A comparission of friendship with bakies? quite a new concept though...yet interesting..guess ur and emily's friendship was quite fun-loving and all this getting angry happens with all close friends...will be fine soon and thanks for the mouth-watering recipe!!

Tammy said...

Now that's what I call friendship! Especially the "poop on your mom" part.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Oh crap, that was funny. I'm going to have to try these, once the birthday cake is GONE from my house. Too much cake here.

Aoife said...

Who or what is Mr. Limp Hand, and what did he ever do to you?

rob said...

I have to admit the concept of unbaked oatmeal cookies is foreign to me, as are your tests of friendship. They do, however, amuse the hell out of me. Please add me to the (now) growing list of people who demand an explanation for "Mr. Limp Hand".

amanda said...

oooo! these are exactly what we called "preacher cookies" growing up (in the south - virginia). these were some of my all time favorites, but i never saw them again after i moved away from virginia to go to college. thanks for sharing the recipe!

Emily said...

Oh, the glories of our youth...
I could explain Mr. Limp Hand, but I'm sure no one would find it as funny as we did at the time (and probably now?). Possibly people would like us less, too.

Erielle said...

Robert, hope you like the recipe. Emily and I are doing just fine, especially since Nate is still alive.

Tammy, you know your friends are true friends when you can threaten to poop on each other's moms and you remain friends.

J, they are so easy. And tasty. And good for you, too, right? Because of the oatmeal?

Aoife, um...I was hoping no one would notice Mr. Limp Hand.
Mr. Limp Hand is when you hold your arm with the other arm and carry it around, like it is a droopy tree branch or something. When Mr. Limp Hand brushes against you, it's like being touched by a dead arm. It grosses me out. I am weird.

Rob, like I said, I am weird. But before you pass judgment, do Mr. Limp Hand for someone else and see how they like it. If they don't like it, then I'm not that weird!

Amanda, glad I could help you find the recipe!

Emily, I hope it's okay that I explained Mr. Limp Hand to everyone. I imagine that it will not be as funny to others as it was (is) to us. I hate Mr. Limp Hand.
Actually, since you are so far away and I miss you so dearly, I wouldn't even mind seeing Mr. Limp Hand right now, because that would mean I could see you!

Scott said...

These are my all time favorite cookies. We called them "lunchroom" cookies. If we were lucky the lunchroom ladies at school served them as dessert every couple of months.

Jonathan said...

My mom always told me that she ate these no-bake cookies when she was pregnant with me and that's why I love them so much today! I don't know if it is that, or if they're just that good.

Anonymous said...

very interesting.....I am an american expat living in australia and just had my first experience making "chockie crackles" for my daughter's bday party. Same sort of concept but they use "copha" which is vegetable shortning instead of butter...

john said...

i absolutely love these cookies and am making them this weekend.