20 February 2011

Fancy Toast Personality Quiz (Sort Of)



Cassoulet on A Slice of Bread

There are two types of people in this world, and you can tell who is who by what they do with the fat that rises to the surface of a cooled stew on its second day.

The first type of person peers inside the pot and says, “Ew.” She then takes a slotted spoon, scoops off the fat, and discards it.
The second type of person shrugs and says, “Yum.” He heats up the stew and stirs the fat right back in.

Oh, and there is actually is a third type of person. The type who opens the lid of the pot, jumps for joy and exclaims, “MEAT BUTTER!”
She proceeds to grab a hunk of bread, slather it with meat butter, and happily devour it, smearing enough of the fatty goodness on her mouth and lips that she doesn’t need to use chapstick for the rest of the month.

Well, I suppose there is a fourth type of person, who makes a lean, healthy stew that doesn’t really have any fat.
And maybe there’s a fifth type of person who doesn’t ever make stew.

So that narrows it down. There are five types of people in the world, and all of the people on our beautiful planet can be categorized according to their feelings about fat upon the surface of a cold stew. Which one are you?

I am the third one. The gross one. Yes, I ate fat and I liked it. No, not fat...meat butter. And it was delicious. And if you came to my house, and I handed you a slice of home-baked bread with a lovely sienna-colored spread on it, and said, “Welcome. I made you a delicious meat butter,” I bet you would eat it and like it too, because you wouldn’t want me to cry. Even if you thought it was gross. But you wouldn’t think it was gross, because you wouldn't know what it was until after you had eaten it and proclaimed your love for meat butter and also, your friend, me.


Meat Butter (with beans). Doesn't it look good?


Recipe for Meat Butter on Bread
Here is the part where I usually post the recipe. But I’m not going to, because the recipe for the pictured cassoulet is pages and pages long, and honestly, if you’re going to make a cassoulet, you’re probably not going to take the recipe from a food blog that has had about 3 posts in as many years.
So.
Make a stew with at least one type of fatty meat. In this case, I used bacon, pork shoulder and chicken thighs.

Put stew in refrigerator overnight until fat rises to the surface and hardens.
Bake or buy a loaf of bread.
Smear meat butter (along with some stew) on a slice of bread.
Offer to a friend.

6 comments:

  1. i'm glad you're back! i'm the third person too. :) xo!

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  2. I DO THIS, and I will growl and spit at anyone who approaches me while I'm occupied with this. Thanks for making me feel more normal.

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  3. I DO THIS. Also, I am known to hiss and growl at anyone who gets in my way.

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  4. Hello friend. I am kind of two people. The kind that doesn't make stew, not because I don't want it but because I don't have time to comb my hair anymore. And then I'm also the heat it up and stir it back in kind of girl. While you and I have eaten fat on toast together before and I was indeed having a wonderful time doing so, I would probably maybe think to myself, I've been there, done that. How about another drink instead?

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  5. Meat butter. I love that we can call it something other than cold, hard you-know-what that begins with "F", ends in "T", three letters. I scrape and separate off of stock but stir everything together when reheating soups, probably because I know I've already scraped and separated the you-know-what from the stock for the soup.

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  6. I like the looser format and I just want to say that I would definitely take your word on cassoulet whether you post or not. I appreciate and trust your tastes, especially in the kitchen.

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