My Perfect Dream Date

Guess my perfect dream date.

Nope, you’re wrong, it’s not the Kitchen Table Seating at Charlie Trotter's. Stupid foie gras ban. I am so angry with you right now, Charlie Trotter.
Guess again.

No, it’s not Thai take-out and Project Runway. That is definitely my second choice.
Guess again.

Gross! I am insulted that you think I would accept a date from John Stamos. I would only consider going on a dream date with John Stamos if the awesome music on his website was looped continuously on a soundtrack throughout our date.

Actually, I am not really amused when people ask me to guess ridiculous facts about themselves, so I apologize for putting you through that. I will just go ahead and tell you what my perfect date is so you don't have to be annoyed anymore, if you were annoyed at all. My perfect date is stuffed with parmesan and wrapped in bacon, and then baked in the oven for fifteen minutes at 450 degrees.



First, the sizzling smokiness of the carmelized bacon. Then, the juicy sweetness of the date. And finally, just when your tastebuds are joyfully content and not hoping for anything else, ever, the parmesan breaks through and you can taste salty cheese! Yeah, salty cheese!

If your perfect dream date could be described as interesting, thought-provoking, sweet, cheesy, and a little bit greasy, then this is the ideal date for you. I propose that you abandon all longings for human companionship and instead go on a bacon-wrapped parmesan-stuffed date, and play John Stamos’ website music while you eat.


Bacon-wrapped Dates Stuffed with Parmesan
serves 7-8 as appetizers

1 lb. bacon, each strip cut in half crosswise
20 pitted dates, also cut in half
1/4 lb. block of parmesan, preferably imported

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Cut parmesan into small sticks.
Stuff each half-date with the parmesan.
Wrap each date with one of the halved bacon pieces.
Lay dates on a baking sheet about one inch apart.
Bake dates in oven for 10 minutes, or until the underside of the bacon turns brown. Using tongs, flip dates over.
Bake for another 5-7 minutes, until the bacon is brown and crispy on all sides.
Drain on a paper towel and serve immediately.
These little guys are so ugly that you might want to lay a few flowers on the platter to break up the monochromatic color scheme.